My Dad struggled with anger while my mom had struggled with depression and alcoholism. I was filled with anger and resentment and I felt very alone which lead me to being rebellious. I had discovered the darkness of the world at a young age. I started hanging out with people who were just as broken as I was who introduced me to drinking and taking pills at the age of twelve.
When I was 14 I had tried meth for the first time and from that moment on I knew that I had lost myself to drugs and to that lifestyle. That weekend habit became a daily habit and by time I was 16 I had started using heroin. I was lost and let the way others treat me define my worth when they took advantage of me and used me for what I had to offer rather than for who I was. Due to the lifestyle I was living I was going to jail and I had tried several secular treatment programs. I still felt very alone and struggled with feelings of hopelessness. I feared more of having no purpose than I did dying. I was living for my own purpose, and what I didn’t know is that we are here for God’s purpose and not our own.
I came into Teen Challenge in January 2018 and I graduated the year program in January 2019. I am now interning at the office. I have recently begun the application process to attend the Teen Challenge School of ministry in Brooklyn. I came into the program thinking it will get me out of legal issues but the lord has completely changed my heart. I am so grateful for everything the lord is doing in my life. All my life I have struggled with insecurities feeling like I’m not good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. It’s through God I realize I am perfect in His eyes. I no longer had to find my self-worth in relationships or drugs. My worth is based solely on the fact that I am a child of the most high God.
I no longer live in darkness because the lord has brought me out of that to live a new life with him and in his light. A scripture I stand on is Isaiah 42:16 “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”