For the past fourteen years, I have been an alcoholic and a drug addict. As the result of numerous bad decisions, I have had two failed marriages, many bad relationships, and my relationship with my family has suffered. The sad part is that I didn’t even realize that I was the problem until last year.
My second marriage had ended, my son decided he wanted to go live with his father. I was in a physically abusive relationship. It was like I was already on a downhill trek when I hit loose gravel and began to sink uncontrollably fast.
I tried to overdose on Xanax, but my ex-boyfriend stopped me. I truly felt that I would be better off dead. I ended up losing my house and had to move in with my boyfriend’s mother.
My boyfriend got even more controlling and abusive and my drug dependency escalated beyond Xanax to powder and crack cocaine. As If this wasn’t bad enough, I was also introduced to methamphetamines.
I will never forget the first time I tried it. I had always heard that crack cocaine would ensnare you but meth took hold of me so bad I just knew my life was over. The first time I did it I stayed up for six days straight. When I finally did come down, I cried for hours because I knew I was hooked.
I remember telling my boyfriend “I can’t do this anymore.” I liked it too much. Cocaine was one thing, but this I could not control. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop there. I started selling everything I owned. I caught my boyfriend stealing my stereo to go and buy drugs. I got so mad that I left him, but in three days I was right back.