My name is Carol and I grew up in Saukville and graduated from Port Washington High School. Growing up my dad was extremely and verbally abusive. Through it my mom told me to pray, read my Bible, and that I’m loved by God who is my true Father. I knew God in my head but not in my heart. I didn’t believe that Jesus could love me when my earthly father didn’t.
I was filled with fear and anxiety; that turned into anger and resentment. I started smoking and drinking when I was 12, then any drug that came my way in my teens was mostly pills and cocaine. I had Hannah at 18 and Holly at 21. By this time, I’m addicted to oxycodone. I was doing things I said I would never do for my next high, was homeless, got my daughters taken away, I caught a felony, but I didn’t care it seemed that nothing would stop me. I was lost and I had no clue who I was. Every time I thought I was at rock bottom I just kept on getting deeper and darker in my addiction. I was 25 and pregnant; went to jail for a short time from there I went to rehab. I had my son in treatment, I named him Isaiah and I placed him up for adoption.
When I got out I stayed sober for 9 months. I kept Jesus on a shelf and only prayed when I needed something. I put confidence in myself and became very prideful. I ended up relapsing and my addiction was back ten times stronger than it was when I stopped before. I started shooting heroin, cocaine, and meth. I did not care about anything or anyone besides what I could get in my veins next. The devil stole my identity and I didn’t know who I was anymore. I felt lost, hopeless, and didn’t care if I died. I ended up getting an infection and abscess in both my arms. I went to the hospital and had surgery. From there I went to Teen Challenge. I completed the one year program July 2017 and have stayed on to serve at the Robby Dawson Home for Women as Program Intern. I just began my first semester of college to work toward a degree in substance abuse counseling.
Psalms 18:19 says “The Lord rescued me; he led me to a place of safety because he delights in me”! When I came here it was hard for me to understand the love of God because my earthly father was anything but loving. God is kind and patient, he meets you right where you are. Whatever the enemy meant for evil in my life, God turned it around for my good and His glory. I know who I am now in Christ and nothing or no one can even steal that away from me. The scripture I stand on is Joshua 1:9 …be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.